The stuff I used to judge ...

Before I was a mom, well, let's just say I wish I could go back and slap myself in the face for judging any other parent ever in the history of the world. Except when I judged "Mommie Dearest." I think that was the only one that was OK to have an opinion on.

The truth is, parents are doing the best we can. As much as I thought to my "wiser" (read: wiseass) self, "Oh, when I'm a mom, I won't _____(fill in the blank)___ like that mom over there," I had no right to even have an opinion. Even if it was a positive one. Because you don't know until you are a parent.

Reminder: You're only human

I've heard that phrase plenty of times. I don't know what it is about me, and maybe women in general, but I've noticed we try to do it all. Commercials in the '80s pushed the idea when moms were going back to the workplace and advertisers were marketing things like pumps you could also play basketball in. And I'm sure the intentions were good, despite slightly sexist undertones. Regardless, it seems to be universally known that women try to take everything on.

2:30 in the morning the day
 before Halloween, I was
 hot gluing L.'s hat for her
 costume. Sleep was not even
 an option in my mind.

It's difficult to say no. No one likes disappointing others. In my case, I try to be as good of a mother as possible, which means avoiding any form of mom guilt. I work a full-time job in which the last month, I was working six-day weeks. And, when it comes to the house, after moving in, sleep was such a back-burner priority, it was a source of guilt when there were boxes still left unpacked, yet I was tucking in for the night.

This mindset had to stop. First of all, I can't change the fact that there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I should do or want to do. Secondly, I don't think anyone was expecting me to accomplish everything as quickly as I set myself up to in my mind.

Failure to Laugh

So, if you've seen my blog in the past week and a half, you've noticed I haven't posted anything. Unfortunately, when it came down to it, I picked the wrong year to try to participate in the 31 Days challenge. All week, I've had Kirsten Dunst's voice running through my head from "Elizabethtown" -- coincidentally another Cameron Crowe movie, the writer/director of "Almost Famous" from where the photo used in my 31 Days button comes from.

"You failed! You failed, you failed, you failed, you failed, you failed, you failed ..."

Day 17: Making the connection

Today, I laughed at: the fiance telling me about the washer and dryer he bought us.
He apparently saw a sticker on it for WiFi and he just assumed it meant the washer and dryer would send up a text or maybe even Tweet at us when it was done.
Now, he had researched this washer and dryer through his tech-loving websites. He found this one that dried clothes in, get ready, 30 minutes. He was in love. 

The Kenmore Elite Steam
Washer and Dryer will
not text you when
the laundry's done.

There were even settings on the washer so if you were to leave clothes in overnight, it would intermittently circulate fresh air in as it tossed the clothes around. Same with the dryer so clothes wouldn't wrinkle.
This is a high tech washer and dryer he decided to buy from an outlet, after a discount for being a returned item. Watching him read the owner's manual online was almost uncomfortable, like he was watching adult entertainment. That's how excited he was about this washer and dryer.
When he got to the part about the WiFi sticker, though, he found out the washer and dryer would not be texting us when our clothes were ready. However, when we call for maintenance, the WiFi would transmit signals over our phones to the computer for diagnostic ... um ... things. I don't actually know exactly what it does, now that I think of it. I think I was laughing too hard at the disappointment he had mixed with the excitement over all the cool things our new gadgets could do. I love him and his gadgets.

Day 16: Top 5 Underrated Movies

Today, I laughed at: the fiance referencing "The Big Lebowski" while rug shopping at Ikea today.
L. was looking at rugs with us when she decided to climb on one. The fiance looked at the rug and said, "That rug really ties the room together."

"The Big Lebowski" is probably the fiance's favorite movie and, I have to agree, while I didn't laugh out loud when I saw it, I do appreciate its humor and I will still say it's a funny movie.
Most movies I consider funny aren't actually "laugh out loud movies," now that I think about them. But few of them had me holding my stomach the first time I saw them.
And that brings me to the topic of the post I originally wrote yesterday but, ugh, got deleted. (I won't even link to yesterday's sad excuse for a post).

Day 15: Hmph!

Today, I laughed at: hmph.
Yes, that is what I meant to type for this post.
Originally, I had a post all written before midnight last night. Then, in trying to add a photo from my phone, the entire entry was deleted. So, I gave up. It was midnight, I was an hour from home, and I needed to be in bed.
And I was not in a good mood.
So, I got home, got in bed with the fiance and he stroked my hair and said, "It's OOOOO-K. Caaaaaalm dooooown. I'll taaaaalk with looooong syllibleeeeh. I can't eeeeeven saaaay 'syllables.'"
OK, that did make me laugh. And that is the point, after all.

Next: Day 16 (Day 15 redux)

Day 14: Retiring a joke

Today, I laughed at: nothing I can really describe.
I don't really know how to explain the laughter I had today (late, late last night/early morning). I got home from work and when the fiance met me at the door of the house we're moving into, he said, "Do we have to paint tonight? I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood."

The fiance as we were brainstorming
the future location of the bar
in our basement.

I was so relieved because I felt the same way. I had been rushed all day and I really wanted to just sit.
I knew I had the energy if I needed it, but I did not really have the motivation to do a good job.

So, instead, we grabbed a few beers and went downstairs to the basement to look at how the walls were coming along. We're hoping to finish the basement so we'll have it as a big play room, initially for L., but I'm guessing the fiance will have more toys down there.
Anyway, as we planned out things for the future, I began to get that feeling in my stomach like when you're about to go over a rollercoaster hill. I started laughing and I couldn't even describe to the fiance what was so funny. 
It wasn't so much that it was funny, but I was so excited about spending my life with him in this home we're putting together, the only expression my body could release was laughter. And so I laughed. I smiled until my face hurt.