Let It Go ...

Sorry there aren't more
photos in the post.
I was busy doing mom
things at Target.

No, I am not referring to the newest song terrorizing parents and Facebook feeds. I'm using that title to refer to the feeling a parent must get when they can't say exactly what's on their mind when others are observing either them or their children. But, for anyone who just wants a glimpse into the mind of a parent whose child is currently doing her thing and being 3, this is what we're really thinking. And how we wish to respond, but can't because we're trying to set an example.

To the woman who is "helping" me locate my child who is currently running through the store because she didn't want to sit in the cart.

Believe it or not, I recognize my daughter's footsteps. They haunt me. I hear them at ungodly hours on weekends, creeping slowly to my bed to wake me up. I hear them chasing the cat around the house. I can hear them running in an opposite direction or coming toward me. I know as soon as I unwrap any sort of food for myself, those footsteps will soon follow. I can hear them stop and know, after about two minutes of silence, to see what she's up to.

She's not a light stepper. And I'm OK with that.

Why I Like My Fitbit

This post has been loooong overdue. Basically, any post I write has been overdue. But, here's the reason. It's small. Clips to my bra. Has helped in me losing about 10 pounds. (Well, 15, if you count some of the weight I put on over the holidays that I considered temporary padding for the winter months.)

It's the Fitbit.

This little Tamagotchi-looking thing is probably the best thing to happen to keeping up motivation since warm weather and bikini-season scare tactics.

Since joining the gym in December, I was getting my workouts in and tracking my calories through MyFitnessPal. But I knew the motivation wouldn't last. Especially since buying a wedding dress in a size I could already fit into -- call me crazy, but I never believed in fearing I'd look like an overstuffed sausage in wedding photos.

So, my friend and gym buddy suggested we get the Fitbit. We could track our steps, compete against each other and whoever else we knew who had one, track our weight loss and hopefully keep up the motivation.

Thoughts for my future high schooler

Having L. as a toddler right now, she's very happy with the world in general, I think. It's difficult to understand tantrums that come from things like not wanting to get dressed or not being able to fit a toy potato into a toy tea kettle because, in my head, if that's the worst part of your day, life's pretty damn good.

Me circa 1999 before our Sadie
Hawkins dance. Oh, the extreme
awkwardness of having to
ask a boy out!

It's difficult to imagine this child getting older and becoming immersed in a world of technology and dealing with social pressures that come with it. I can't imagine that added to the stress and anxiety that happens during the awkward high school years.

Even though it was more than 10 years ago, I still cringe a bit when I think of how every little thing that happened was so extreme within my own mind back then.

I wish I could impart to her what I wish I could have told my high school self. I'm pretty sure most, if not all of these, will still be relevant when L. is old enough to have to worry about such things:

Happy New Year!

From the Self-Evident Supermom household to yours, have a very happy new year!

It's as if she's mocking me,
saying, "Oh, you fool,
you think 2 is bad? Wait."

This year will bring a new job (surprise, surprise!), a new schedule for both me and L., the dreaded Terrible 3s (3 is the new 2, have you heard?), potty training (ugh, eventually), a wedding, L. starting school and, hopefully, more topics to write on and more productivity, all while trying to maintain simplicity.

Every year, I make 10 resolutions. I figure I have chance to keep at least one.

Before I set my goals for 2014, I'd like to just take a minute to list my accomplishments of 2013. Not for bragging purposes, but as inspiration that sometimes, despite what my inner critic thinks, I can do it!

Day 5: How do I compare thee (to make others laugh)?

Today, I laughed at: ... I don't wanna say. ("Glee" I laughed at "Glee," ashamedly, OK?!)
Jim Gaffigan has a bit on McDonald's and how everyone has their own guilty pleasures they don't admit to others they enjoy:

"I’m tired of people acting like they’re better than McDonald’s. It’s like you may have never set foot in McDonald’s, but you have your own McDonald’s. Maybe instead of buying a Big Mac, you read Us Weekly. Hey, that’s still McDonald’s. It’s just served up a little different. Maybe your McDonald’s is telling yourself that Starbucks Frappuccino is not a milkshake. Or maybe you watch 'Glee.' It’s all McDonald’s—McDonald’s of the soul: Momentary pleasure followed by incredible guilt eventually leading to cancer. ‘I’m lovin’ it.’"

I laughed when the kids from the deaf choir said/signed, "Oh god, it's those McKinley nerds."
I laughed at "Glee." I laughed when Sue Sylvester said she legally changed her middle name to "Rodham." 
And I cried out of happiness (pure, unadulterated former chorus geek happiness) when Blaine proposed to Kurt at the end of the episode. And that made the boyfriend laugh at me.

Parkercise: How I finally lost the baby weight!

* In no way am I a medical expert. The closest I've come is taking a few anatomy classes and being a sports and leisure management major for a year in college. 

It's official. I am down the 20 pounds I set my goal for! You know what's sad? I'm not as enthusiastic as I thought I'd be. Isn't that always the way? I guess because you lose weight so slowly, you don't notice. I notice in pictures of myself. I notice in my clothes. But, I don't know, I just don't FEEL 20 pounds lighter.

But you, dear readers, don't care about that, right? You want to know HOW I did it.

If you're like me, you see a post on losing 20 pounds in a certain amount of time. Mine happened to be in 8 weeks, practically. From your perspective, eight weeks doesn't seem that long. It's eight. It's not 10, which is a really long time, apparently. And, for the first two weeks or so, it'll seem like a cinch to reach eight weeks.

But it's hard. It's frustrating. The initial weight loss is amazing and it goes so quickly. And starting anything new is always fun at first but, at least for me, my brain and body start saying, "OK, this was fun and all, but, um, when are we going back to doing things our way? As in, doing the absolute bare minimum every day. Seriously, we don't have the time or the energy for this anymore."

One of the biggest hurdles was finding the time. I love doing yoga, but on top of getting dressed for it, putting in the DVD and waiting for it to load, getting out the mat and accessories, there's also the shower afterward I have to account for. I have two hours before work now and, as much as I'd like to put in my 50-minute yoga DVD, I'm really looking at an hour and 15 minutes dedicated to working out. That's a lot of time, in my world. So, I had to figure out a way to be a mom and exercise.

I present to you Parkercise.

When an idol falls

My daughter is 2 1/2. She turned exactly 30 months this past week. I normally don't count months anymore. But I liked the idea that for one month, she would be the same age in months as I was in years.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to plan anything crazy, like my #30for30 Challenge. But, I must have been channeling it when I took this picture.

Quite similar to the photo taken the morning of my birthday before setting off to do 30 good deeds.

Best birthday ever, I think.

One of the reasons I enjoyed doing those 30 good deeds was, despite how young she was, I wanted L. to learn what it is to be a good person and, hopefully, find something admirable about what I was doing and maybe achieve something like it one day.

I'm not saying I want to be her idol. But how does a parent have influence on what kind of idols are admired in the house?

It's the little things

I only have my daughter for half the week. Even though I'm not an avid fan, the boyfriend periodically will remind me how comedian Louis C. K. finds himself a better parent because of only having his kids half the week. I guess that's true. I get to give 100 percent in that concentrated amount of time, rather than stretching my energy over the course seven days.

For a long time when the separation was new, I would hold myself to the expectation of having something fun planned for every time I had L. That got to be too much energy and waaaay too much money. I've also realized that L. gets as much excitement from pulling up to our neighborhood park as she does when we drive halfway up the state for free admission at Kidcity Children's Museum every third Thursday of the month. It recently resonated with me that it's the little things when I see her that add up to big memories.

Here we are at the park and L. is being chased by little Freddy Krueger.
Five minutes later, little Freddy would not share any of the sand toys.
Little Freddy Krueger is a jerk.

A story of a toddler and her fur babies

Before L. was born, I had already had two fur babies. The Little Man (who, at one time, I assure you, was little) and Princess Penelope Von Purrypants of the Purrypants Kingdom, whom we just refer to as The Princess. They had regular names, given by my ex, but I had nicknames that ended up sticking.

What it's like at the end of the tunnel

So many people told me there was a light at the end of the tunnel. The thing was,  I was so used to being in the tunnel, I was used to it. It wasn't until a few days ago when I found myself "accidentally" dieting and being conscious of getting more movement into my daily routine did I realize I was finally in that light at the end of the tunnel.

The boyfriend and I recently celebrated being together for a year. The exact date is really unknown since I began staying with him only a few days after L.'s father and I agreed a divorce would be best. It started out as a gesture of friendship. I was uncomfortable at "home" and he and I worked the same shift and we were fond of each other's company. I had my grieving period, and it was a rather weird transition into a relationship from there.

I kept a lot of emotions to myself. I was able to rationalize myself down off temporary emotional cliffs. But every so often, something would set me off. And that's when the boyfriend would hold me. He wouldn't tell me everything would be alright; instead, he told me "things aren't always going to seem as bad." It was exactly what I wanted to hear. I was exactly what I NEEDED to hear.

Attempting to be hipsters with our glasses, PBRs and Instagram.
All of which we, actually, somewhat enjoy. But not ironically.

Why I Like Dumbo

Let's be honest for a minute. I'm going to lose my few readers, probably. But I have to finally admit it.

I hate Disney.

I HATE DISNEY.

I don't know if it's leftover jealousy from never having gone to a Disney them park as a kid. Or if it's when I realized "Happily Ever After" leaves too much left to chance and I really questioned how those princess marriages actually worked out, considering the princes usually only just met the women and were married quickly after. Or maybe once I saw how much commercialism went into the damn brand, I boycotted it.

BUT ...

Thirty good deeds to celebrate turning 30 #30for30

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. And I was lucky enough to have my daughter all day! I had seen a blog post via Pinterest about a woman who performed 38 good deeds to celebrate turning 38, which also gave me a lot of great ideas. So I decided a few weeks ago it would be a great way to spend my 30th birthday!

And, boy, did it keep us busy! It also meant a crazy number of times I had to get L. out of her car seat and into her stroller and then back into the car seat, which was exhausting! Aside from waking up sore from all the running around I did, I feel I got quite a good workout in my arms from the car seat shuffle.

But that's not all I felt ... even after the first good deed, I start getting this feeling like I was a superhero. My boyfriend had gotten me a crown that I wore pretty much all day. Of course, because I had a crown, we had to make sure L. had her crown. But, of course, she ended up asking for mine anyway.

Here's what we did: