|It's as if she's mocking me,|
saying, "Oh, you fool,
you think 2 is bad? Wait."
Every year, I make 10 resolutions. I figure I have chance to keep at least one.
Before I set my goals for 2014, I'd like to just take a minute to list my accomplishments of 2013. Not for bragging purposes, but as inspiration that sometimes, despite what my inner critic thinks, I can do it!
- I dealt with divorce. I came out alive. Maybe for the better, definitely not for the worse, but changed in a way that I never expected.
- I was successful at a job I love. I'll be sad to be leaving for the routine Monday-Friday, 9-5 schedule again, but when L. starts school next year, it will be better for us.
- I made new blogger friends. They don't know it, most likely, but I enjoyed being privy to their lives and having them inspire me to keep going and to make potentially scary changes.
- I made an effort to get healthier. I drank more water and really noticed the difference that made. I learned to use the term "movement" instead of the almost-pejorative "exercise." I reached my pre-pregnancy weight, which I'm still hovering around and proud to say haven't strayed far from, despite holiday gatherings and temptations of all the candy around. And, I came up with the mantra, "People working out don't look stupid. They just don't." That is constantly in my head as I get my daily dose of "movement."
- I met my challenge of reading more. And not just parenting books, either! I always make this resolution and, I'm told, once L. is a bit older, I will be able to keep it easier.
- I lost people in my life. Not to death, but to divorce. It hurt when friends I thought I was so close to stopped calling or texting. Because they didn't know which side to picked, I can only assume they decided to ignore us both. That said, however, I became closer with friends who were there for me. As with every year of getting older, I learned about true friendship and I appreciate those close to me so much more.
- I took pictures. At least every other month, I have to upload the pictures on my phone to make room for new ones. I haven't organized them, but at least I have them. Because of different Apps available, I take better photos I will one day thank myself for. Not just posed portraits, but random, everyday little things with L.
- I failed at something. Even though it's not an accomplishment, I feel I should acknowledge not completing my 30 Days of Laughter Challenge because I learned I can fail at something and move on with my life.
- I gave back. For my 30th birthday, I celebrated by bring L. with me to accomplish 30 good deeds. It was my favorite birthday I've ever had.
- I learned to appreciate coffee. I was not a coffee drinker really until this year. But, thanks to a recipe found on Pinterest for iced coffee, I began enjoying it in the summer. And, when my soon-to-be sister-in-law got us (me) a Keurig for Christmas, I realized the early, early mornings L. wakes me up can be tolerable.
|Despite having a lot of photos|
of L. on my phone,
a good chunk of memory
is taken up my cats.
"Pride & Prejudice"
at the gym.
- Read even more. As stated above, I surprised myself when I found time to read a few books that weren't parenting-related. I even challenged myself to read Jane Austen's novels in 2014 as part of Gidget Goes Home's "Motherhood and Jane Austen Book Club." The fact that I'm 1/3 through "Pride and Prejudice" blows my mind, especially since I've picked up Jane Austen numerous times, only to get tripped up by the dialogue and put it down. Thanks to the Kindle and it's handy-dandy dictionary feature, I'm having an easier time with it and truly enjoying this classic.
- Stay true to who I am and what I want. This not only goes for the wedding planning, but in general. I like the person I've become in the past year. I'd like to continue getting to know her and listen to her more. She's actually pretty surprising.
- Continue my health effort. I don't expect the same push I gave myself last year. I fit into all my clothes again, which was part of the reason I lost weight -- I saved too many clothes I couldn't justify shopping for the next size up anymore. But, because the new house doesn't really have a space right now for yoga, I joined the gym last week because my body was craving movement again. And, as a working mom, I no longer view the gym as a chore; I see it as Me-Time. And, I have to remember, I never leave the gym unhappy or worse than when I go in.
- Give back more. I don't know if I'd be able to have the same cooperation from L. this year to attempt 31 deeds on April 25, but I do enjoy when I can help others and I love setting the example for L.
- Cook more. As of right now, I'm in a sad cycle of fast food and take out, especially at work. I hope with the new schedule, I'll be able to make time to really use my kitchen.
- Work toward healing more. I still get anxiety when I think about my previous marriage. I still feel like I'm judged for everything I do, even if it's not true at all. I have hangups that the fiance has been patient about and I realize there are things I'm still getting over. It hurts not seeing L. every single day and it doesn't seem to get any easier. I don't know the steps I need to take, but I know that as time goes by, even if I don't consciously notice it, I am slowly healing.
- Face challenges with positivity. I'm nervous about starting my new job next week. I have anxiety about leaving my current position. There is a lot of uncertainty bustling through my head right now. But, one thing I keep reminding myself is I can't control time. I will start the new job and I can't predict my first few days of being the new person again. I can't control what happens what happens at my current job after I leave. It's scary, but it's also an opportunity to learn and grow.
- Organize. We're still moving in, it feels like. We're finishing the basement and, when that happens, I'll be able to move a lot of clutter upstairs downstairs to have more room. Not only do I need to organize the photos in my archives, but I need to declutter, donate and give away things I've been holding onto.
- Build and maintain strong friendships. I really appreciate my friends and I love them tremendously. I don't know why I'm so guarded in letting them know that, but I hope this year to become closer with those in my life who I don't know what I'd do without.
- I will keep an army of tools at my disposal to combat the dreaded Mom Guilt that seems to follow me like a shadow. Online communities (I'm looking at you, CTWorkingMoms!), my lovely mom friends, my fiancee and the smile on L.'s face are among the many I'll have to help me maintain the idea that I don't need anyone else to tell me I'm doing a good job. I am a Self-Evident Supermom!
|Nothing to see here.|
Just watching TV with
Penny Lane & William Miller
from "Almost Famous,"
our favorite movie.
Hope all of you have a happy and healthy new year!